Hold Your Heavy Heart Up High
by xcomfortable
Summary: Gabriella is in an abusive relationship; after two years, she comes back to Troy Bolton, who's left to pick up the broken pieces. Troy, confused at the whole new girl in front of him, puts back the pieces & find some he never knew existed. TxG
1. everything

Gabriella is in an abusive relationship. Troy is the best friend; the best friend who cleans up the pieces, even if he has to discover some, first. TxG

***

Sometimes there's just those days when obviously, something is gonna go wrong. Maybe you'd come home and you'd find out you were locked out, or maybe you'd get into a fight with someone. Maybe you'd go and take a shower, only to find out that the water's cold, and there's really no point. Hell, maybe your dog died. Either way, we all have those bad days where you know it's gonna happen. Right from the beginning, you called it. And at the end of the day, you can't help but think, "I knew it."

Sometimes, you underestimate these bad feelings. You think when you get home, the day will end up good. You think that when you go home, your mom will be there to open the door for you. You think that you, indeed, don't even have a dog—so what's the worry?

Rule number one? Never underestimate anything.

***

Troy shrugged the jacket over his shoulders as he walked home briskly, in the crisp air. It was fall, and the bare trees made his neighborhood look empty as he slowly shuffled down the street. He took a deep breath, letting it out quietly as if he made it any louder, he would destroy the peace of the simple street.

Stuffing his hands into his coat's pockets, his eyes drifted to where the park was—the park he spent growing up at; the park where he became best friends with the girl that meant everything to him, the park that he first got a girlfriend, the park where he broke up with his girlfriend.

It had been there for him whenever he needed it. It was there when he first walked, first fell, first talked, first kiss.

But as he looked at it now, it seemed to betray him. The dark shadows from the clouds seemed to ominously loom over the already dark play park, making it seem more dreary then it should have. The swings creaked slowly as the wind shook them, almost as if you could hear a child's laughter being heard as it was being pushed.

But despite the depressing weather, and despite the darkness, and despite the memories flooding back at him, Troy couldn't help but stare.

Stare at the helpless little girl—even if not so little—and wonder what she was doing here. The snow jacket she wore seemed to stick off her thin body, and her bright face seemed to contrast with the dark lighting. He squinted to get a better look at her, and his breath was almost taken away by her beauty.

Her broken beauty.

He could tell something was wrong.

Approaching her from behind quietly, he wondered if he should tap her on the back or just say something out loud; he should have been fearing what she thought of him, or what to say, or how to say what he needed to say, but instead, all he thought of, was that she might think he's a creepy pedophile on the way home from work.

He opted for just saying her name out loud, but hesitated, just in case. Could he really leave her like this? Could he just forget that he ever saw her, broken where they always seemed to be patched back up together?

She chuckled.

"I know you're here, Troy."

Taken surprised, Troy took a step back as if it would make him disappear.

"It's not like you stopped breathing. I could hear you." She said, picking at the grass beneath her.

"I'm sorry." His statement came out more like a question, and he began to wonder what else he could say to make her feel better.

She shrugged her shoulders like she didn't care, and finally turned around to look at him.

He was almost taken aback by her beauty. It had only been two years since he had last seen her, but it seemed like it had been centuries; the memories made it too painful, and for the past few months, it had almost been like she'd been erased from his mind.

Her face was pale, but tan in some ways. Her lips bright. Her heart was put into a messy bun, some pieces framing her face as she talked.

"Well, it's nice seeing you again. Even if you haven't said anything yet," she said with a coy smile.

"Yeah," he breathed.

She eyed him, from his feet, up to his eyes and stopped, looking dead on at the scar on the side of his face, right below his ear that she had caused.

He shifted his eyes to the swings behind her. His stomach seemed to burst. He didn't want to be in this situation right now; he couldn't be. It had taken too long to get over the fear and the pain. The darkness, and the cold.

"So what brings you out here, again?" he said unsurely.

"I'm back. For good. I've—I've had business to attend."

She looked away.

He didn't notice.

"Well, that's good… It's been too long." He laughed awkwardly. "Too long, Gabriella…"

"As with you, Bolton."

She got up, wiping off her jeans, so she could be face to face with him.

"Where are you going?" he asked quietly.

"Home."

"Where is that?"

"Where it's always been."

He licked his lips.

"I haven't seen your parents in forever, Troy… that sounds weird, doesn't it?" she laughed, as if she couldn't feel the tension. "I almost forgot that I don't have parents, anymore! It's crazy, huh? It's been four years…" She let out a breath as she whirled around to face him. "Come on."

She took his hand and dragged him to the sidewalk, continuing his walk home.

"So, we still live in the same place, right? My room's still there?"

"Yeah."

He hadn't spoken much, but it was due to all the confusion that was currently bubbling inside of him. Why was Gabriella back? She was everything to him, and she just left; just like that. What was he supposed to do? He had stayed in his room for days after she left, angry that he hadn't had the chance to even say goodbye; angry that he hadn't talked to her for weeks before she left. His parents didn't have a clue to why she was leaving, but that didn't make them any less sad. But Troy? He was especially hurt. She didn't even say a word as to why she was leaving. A word as to why she was abandoning her life for a new one.

Like he had said. It had taken him two years to get over her, and suddenly she was back. No one had ever touched anything in her room after she was gone; no one had entered, afraid they would break the wall that kept them up. Because she was what kept them up.

The big house seemed to stand out from the rest of the neighborhood, but that didn't seem to faze neither Troy nor Gabriella. He stood up at the door, grabbing the key from the hidden spot, and opening the door to the dusty, empty house. Like always.

Gabriella didn't seem to notice the emptiness.

"Home."

She smiled brightly and turned on all the lights.

He had to admit; it had been a Gabriella thing to do that. He had never done that, and now that the house was properly lit, it didn't seem so lonely anymore.

Dragging him over to the couch, she sat down across from him, propping her legs up on his lap.

"So, what's going on, Troy? I missed you."

He looked straight into the fireplace, avoiding eye contact with his best friend that he had known for more then a decade. Laughing humorously, he uttered a few words that he knew would hurt him; it would hurt both of them. It would take down that tension he had, and the obliviousness that she.

"You can drop the act, Gabriella. It's only you and me, here. Everything changed after you left, Gab. Everything."

***

**Chapter End Notes**

**Why, hello lovely readers! I'm excited for this story. I know that I just started, "We Couldn't Change It If We Tried," but this one was too good to pass up. And to make sure I finish this story, I'm definitely writing as much as I can; after school, between school, during lunch, on the weekends. You get the point.**

**So here's the beginning to "Hold Your Heavy Heart Up High"! Anyone excited? I know this story doesn't seem interesting (or maybe it does, if it is, I'm unaware), but there will be a lot of twists in the future. Hold on tight, because it's gonna be a long ride. I already have an outline of this entire story, and I'm excited to share it with you. **

**Please drop me a few reviews saying that you like it, or that it's good. I'll update when I'm sure that I have input! Love you all. Thanks for the support!**

**xcomfortable**


	2. remember

There was a time in his life that Troy never appreciated anything. His father had left to go to work, on a business trip, and he remembered being ecstatic. His mother didn't care about what he did half the time. She always encouraged him to have his fun; his father was the only person who held him back. The thought of having a whole week to himself… a whole week or being free and not working blew his mind. He was able to do anything he wanted to, and no one would know. He didn't miss his dad at all—he could see him some other time. It was just a fact of life, for Troy. Something that came so naturally.

Along with many other things, he never appreciated his best friend. She was there for him when he broke up with a girl that he thought he loved. She was there when he fought for her love back. She was there when his parents thought about getting a divorce. She was there to hold him up when he first got drunk at the bare age of sixteen. She was there through everything, and he never even once glanced at her and thought, "She's the one. She's the person that I have to have in my life."

Rule number two? Never forget what's in front of you. One day, it can all be taken away.

***

"_Everything changed after you left, Gabriella. Everything."_

Her smile faltered slightly before she just dropped it and looked away.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Troy." She said quietly.

He laughed bitterly.

"Yes, you do."

"Where are your parents?" she said, trying to distract him.

He was oblivious to the hurt laced in her voice.

Chuckling humorlessly, Troy spoke.

"They left. Like they did a few months after you left."

"They left? What do you mean they left?"

Her mind was clouding with confusion.

"They leave, Gabriella," he spat, "and they leave little cute notes on the fridge. I don't give a damn that they're leaving for two weeks—it's not like they ever come back for more than five minutes, anyway."

"Troy—"

"Don't, Gab! You don't even care! You left me and my family and we fell apart. You know how much they loved you?"

"I—"

"Well, enough to leave me alone. Enough to leave me wondering why just me; as a person wasn't good enough for them. Enough for me to have no parental figurines to look up to everyday. And why do you ask? Because their precious daughter—Gabriella—left them two years ago. Why'd you even come back, Gab? Why?"

He stood up frustrated that he was treating her that way. He didn't even know her story, so who was he to judge? Angry at himself, he hit the wall above the fireplace, placing both his hands to steady himself before laying his head on the cool surface.

He didn't even want to look at her.

"Troy…" her voice broke. "I didn't want to leave."

The truth was, she did. She didn't know what she was planning, and she didn't know what she was doing to her life. The small town they stayed in confiscated everything that meant anything to her. It suffocated her, Troy being her only haven in between all the deep breaths she had to take.

The tension between the two lingered sharp in the air, daring both participants of the fight to break it.

Troy, being the one who decided was the best if he talked, spoke up.

"Then why did you, Gabriella? Why'd you leave us all in the dust?"

"I had someone." She whispered.

The anger he had in his system completely flushed out. He raised his eyebrows.

"You had someone?"

The feelings that he once had for her—right before she left—almost seemed to resurface as the jealousy raged through him. She had never known how he had felt; ever. To her, he was always the boy that always seemed to look at her rejectingly. The boy who was her best friend, but would never mean anything more. Not to him, anyway.

Neither of them knew that their feelings were never returned. They liked each other at separate times in their lives, and by the time one had discovered feelings, the other had forgotten them.

"Yes," she said quietly, fingering the seams of the plush couch she sat on.

His head whipped around to look at her.

"You left… you left _us _for someone?"

"It was a mistake."

The pain in his voice was unbearable to hear. Troy pushed himself off the wall, giving Gabriella another longing glance before walking back to the front door and letting himself back outside to the chilly air.

At this point, he was just confused. Confused about everything that Gabriella had sad; confused at the little words they spoke, but how they meant so much. Confused at why she had put up a charade that he didn't even believe in the first place. Most of all, he was confused as to why she came back. Why she came back to Bradentown, and what she was doing here.

He was just starting to get his life back on track, no matter how selfish he sounded. He just wanted her to know that he didn't want her to leave… and as much as he should be happy that she was back, he was the one that left her alone in the dust-filled house of his.

Jamming his hands into his pockets, he walked briskly back to the park that made it all happen. He knew he shouldn't have walked over there. He knew he shouldn't have said anything; done anything. He should have just waited until after the storm. When he could come out from his hiding spot and everything would be great and happy again. That was his world. That was his dream world, at least.

Absorbed in his thoughts, he didn't hear the steps behind him as someone put a hand on his shoulder.

He wasn't surprised by the action—he knew it would come sooner or later.

"You hear yet, man?"

"Yeah…" he said quietly.

"Heard she went out with a total douche bag."

Chad's bad attempt at trying to make him laugh earned a small grin.

He looked up at his best friend as they walked side by side.

"Where'd you hear that from?"

"Everyone around town is whispering about it. It's a huge mystery, though… why she left and why she did what she did."

A look passed briefly over Chad's face.

"Oh man—did you talk to her yet, bro? Is that why you're out here?"

Chad's childish face peered up at him, expecting an answer.

"Yep." He said nonchalantly.

"Dude, what'd she say?"

"Nothing much."

"Did you grill her on the BF?"

"Chad…"

"Dude, is she hot now?"

"Chad." Troy's firm voice sent Chad sinking further into his coat.

"Sorry."

"She's fine. She just… I don't know. I just… I need time."

Chad looked at Troy sympathetically.

"She didn't mean it… what she said when she left, you know…"

"Yeah, yeah…"

"I'll catch up with you later. I have to take Taylor out. I promised."

Troy nodded, not wanting to speak anymore.

"But hey… do me a favor, man."

This piqued his interest.

"Don't let her go this time."

***

Troy sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. He was back home, and Gabriella was nowhere to be seen. He didn't dare look in her room; it held to many memories. He had refrained from looking in there for two years. He wasn't going to start now.

He rested his head on his cold pillow and stared at the ceiling. It was starting to thunder as he lost himself in his thoughts.

The pitter patter of the drops fell against his window, blocking out any sounds of anyone rushing into the home and wiping off the cold rain from their jacket.

He rolled over, propping himself on his elbow, before taking hold of the photograph he always had beside his bed… it was taken right before Gabriella had left that August. His eyes were looking at her adoringly, hers back up at him; shining.

He smiled at the thought.

The door creaked open, but he ignored it. His window was open, and he was used to the chilliness in his room.

"Troy?" she croaked out.

The smile that was plastered on his face before completely disappeared before he looked over his shoulder, setting the photograph on his bed.

"Why is your window open? It's raining."

He bit his lip and shrugged, fingering the cool metal of the frame.

Her stone cold eyes bore into him as he stared at the picture, not blinking once.

She sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"I didn't have a choice, Troy." She said quietly.

He laughed sarcastically for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

"Gab… you have a choice for everything. It's not some… game, we're playing here. This is reality, Gabriella. This is the way things work. You think someone's gonna guide you around for half your life? No. The decision's all yours. You're not forced to do anything."

He couldn't help but look at her. And he saw what he did just a few hours ago; the broken beauty—the beautiful disaster.

The girl that didn't look behind her twice before she left.

She looked away from his piercing eyes.

"I didn't have a choice, Troy." She stated firmly.

"God… _damnit_, Gabriella! You—"

"I didn't have a choice, Troy! He was hurting me."

"Hurting you? What do you mean by that?" he spat.

The shallow look in her eyes was unnoticed by him as she let out a whisper that could barely be heard over the rain.

"I mean he hurt me… he _hurts_ me… physically."

Like she had told him—she didn't have a choice.

**Chapter End Notes:**

**I really want to start off this block of text by saying how much everything you guy have said in the EIGHT PLUS reviews that I've gotten is really inspiring. I was going to get this chapter out earlier, but I had a really bad day on Monday, and it's just… horrible. Anyway, I'm going to clarify some things you guys may be wondering about.**

**Troy and Gabriella are both twenty one. Neither of them are going to school; they both dropped college. Troy's parents are quite wealthy, and they always leave him to fend on his own. Gabriella left them when she was nineteen. She's back now, though! The town they live in is called Bradentown. It's from the song 'This is Our Town' by We the Kings. Check it out.**

**Some of you might have noticed that Troy's character seemed to change in this chapter. He'll be changing a lot in the next few chapters. He's confused, and Gabriella isn't making it any easier for him.**

**Also, the town is small, which results in those small town dreams that everybody knows so well about… and YAY. Chad's here to the rescue.**

**Anyway, I just want to say thank you for all the support that I've been getting. It would make me incredibly happy if you checked that little box down there and put me on your story favorites/alerts. **

**Most importantly, please send a review my way! Reviews = my inspiration = faster update.**

**xcomfortable**

**(P.S. Sorry if this chapter dragged out for too long; I just wanted you all to understand Troy's confusion and what he's feeling. I also gave you all a little more background on how his life works, and how much Gabriella hurts him. Can't blame the guy for being bitter.)**


	3. home

There were plenty of times in Troy's life when he misinterpreted something that someone was saying. There were too many to count; too many awkward situations that he would never forget, and too many apologies that he would always remember.

There were many ways you can take something wrong. You could have thought that something a person said was suggestive—and probably get slapped in the face for it—or you could have thought that they were joking. You could have thought that when they said "dog" they meant their husband, or you could have thought that when they said they were going home to study, they were simply ignoring you for lack of a better excuse.

Either way, Troy had underestimated too many words in his life to suddenly stop now, and sometimes the word vomit from his mouth wouldn't cease. He could apologize a million times, and it would never mean the same, because the moment had already been ruined, long gone when he opened his mouth to make a joke. Words were always important in a person's life, and weren't something meant to just be thrown around.

Like he had mentioned earlier, there were plenty of times in his life where he misinterpreted something. Never in his entire life, however, did he think that he would come into terms with this.

Rule number three? Never underestimate the power words can hold.

His mouth became dry as he pondered her words.

As much as he could say that it could mean a lot of things, it really couldn't. There should have been a million of dark thoughts running through his head; so many that it would explode, but the only one he was really thinking was: how the _hell_ had he not known?

He saw a brief something flash past her eyes, unknown of the decision he was going to make.

He shifted, the rain still coming down and hitting the floor.

Fingering the cool metal of the picture frame, he finally spoke.

"When?"

He licked his lips. The anxiety was building up, and he could see that she was deciding whether or not she should answer, or just up and leave like she had so many years ago.

"The same year I left."

His eyes clouded over. He knew he shouldn't have felt the way he should have, but somehow, he felt the sick satisfaction that she had hurt the same way he had when she left; just not the way he did.

The regret of the thoughts soon overpowered him. As soon as the sick happiness had entered, it had left. He felt like throwing up. He had missed her so much that he couldn't even get out of bed half the days, and here he was silently glad that someone had hurt her—_his_ Gabriella—physically. This was enough to almost bring tears to his eyes, as much as he didn't want to admit it.

The drama and tension hung heavy in the air. He still hadn't responded, and it was about time she heard what he had to say.

But really, he had nothing to say. He couldn't say he was surprised; he should have been, but he wasn't. He wanted her back, and he got her. It wasn't the way he had wanted, but what mattered now, was she was here. No questions needed to be asked. He just wanted to lie next to her again; as friends, lovers, or nothing.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

Gabriella shrugged at this.

There were many reasons Troy Bolton had been her best friend growing up.

He always cared. She knew that. He thought over his words carefully, making sure that he didn't hurt anyone intentionally, but as much as he thought, the more he blurted out stuff he didn't mean.

The thing she loved the most about him, is that he didn't always have to say something. The comfort of her knowing he was just listening and that he cared was enough.

Nothing was exchanged.

The two sat awkwardly on each side of the bed, wondering what to do with themselves.

His eyes shifted and gazed right into hers, almost answering all the questions that he needed.

With that, she laid next to him, laying her hands over her eyes. The awkwardness was still there, but she wanted to feel the happiness and warmth that she had three years ago. The one that was always accompanied by Troy's presence.

Looking back at the picture in his hands, he held it up for both of them to look at.

"August," he said softly.

She removed her hands from her face before looking at the photo tiredly.

"Seems so short ago, huh?"

The way he said it—almost so bitterly—reminded her exactly why she was here.

"Troy, I didn't mean to leave," she whispered.

"I know."

It was like something had snapped in the air. Something had broken the small force that kept them together, even if it was for a few minutes.

"Why'd you leave, Gab? Why? You say he forced you… I want to know how." His voice almost cracked, "and more importantly, I want to know why you came back." He finished bitterly.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Not once for the six hours that she had been in Bradentown did she think that Troy didn't want her there. She wasn't expecting to be brought back with open arms, with his parents and their smiles and cookies. She just thought she was welcome.

Clearing her throat quietly, she spoke up.

"I could leave if you want."

Fire.

"No!" he sprang up from the bed, moving his hands to almost pin her down to the bed.

"Please don't, Gabi. Please don't do that to me again."

The emotion that was already in the air brought tears to her voice.

He sounded so desperate. He sounded like he needed her there. _He needed her there._

She could feel the wet substance slide down, framing her small face.

The pad of his thumb wiped the tears away. She could feel his hands shaking. She took him, laying him back down, scared that he was going to break.

With that, she curled into his chest.

They had always been so comfortable around each other. Between the tension and the angry words spat in between, they still had each other, and she had to know he was there. She clung to him, and for the first time in three years, she cried.

She lay there and pitied herself. The past three years had been a waste of her life. She let her tears soak his shirt as the convulsing sobs overtook her, shaking her body. She had never been so broken in her life.

The sight almost broke Troy down. She was usually the strong one, as strange as that sounded. So he remained speechless and stone still, until he finally managed to pity the small girl in his arms and wrap his arms around her as well. The pit of his stomach filled with regret with the thoughts that had clouded his mind in the past few months. How much he hated her for leaving his family; how much he hated his mom because she had left him in his time of need, once Gabriella was gone.

But now, he had someone to share his pain with.

They awoke the next day, late in the afternoon. The sun was shining bright and hard, beating through the window that was left open the night before. The bed was uncomfortable and heated from the room's humid temperature, and both bodies in it were sweaty and sticky.

It was like an alarm had gone off in their heads, and the two automatically sat up, displeased at the current state they were in.

They both stared at each other, Troy breaking the gaze.

He blinked.

"We should get up," he said tiredly.

The night's events had worn them out, both physically and emotionally.

Gabriella wasn't sure whether or not she had liked Troy's reaction to her news. It didn't seem like it surprised him, and it upset her slightly to know that he didn't even bother to ask if she was okay. She knew he meant well, and she knew that he was listening, but she wanted to know what he was thinking. She shook off the thoughts as she got out of the bed silently, carefully detangling herself from the sheets.

The hot water ran down Troy's body, washing off all evidence of the sweat and darkness that he had been carrying for the last twenty four hours. It scalded his skin, and his eyes shot open, realizing the mistake he had made.

Someone had hurt her.

Someone had hit her with the bare, raw feelings of their knuckles, and here he was.

He winced and took note to talk to her later. She was his all—he couldn't lose her again.

It was his new goal to find out what had happened. No matter how long it would take, he would make sure that Gabriella's heavy heart would soon feel what his did whenever he saw her.

Freed.

The alarming news that Gabriella was no longer in his house shook him. He searched in every single bathroom, even his parent's room. But no matter what, he refused to take a step into her room. Not now. Not with what had happened so many years ago.

He shook his head before peaking out the backyard.

And there she was.

Her ebony waves flowing softly behind her, her lips slightly parted, and her eyes closed.

He made a decision. It was now or never.

So he sat down, and just simply stared at her.

Gabriella visibly smiled, before swallowing thickly.

"As sick as it sounds, I almost liked it."

This shocked Troy. She _liked_ being hurt? She liked to have bruises covering her every body?

"I was confused," she continued, "and this made me feel… elated. Like I was worth hurting."

He licked his lips.

"Did he make you cry?"

"Yes," she choked out. "But I also thought I loved him."

If anyone was confused as he was, he would be surprised. But Troy couldn't help but feel a pang of regret and jealousy move through his heart.

"He made me feel real."

"And then…" he urged.

"And then it got too much. It got too real. I got too hurt, and then I had to run away."

She smiled weakly, before opening her eyes to look at him.

"That's what I'm best at doing, anyway, right?"

He shook his head slowly.

"You were strong enough…" he paused, "to feel real. To feel what you did, and you were strong enough to put a stop to it."

She scoffed.

"You could just say it, Troy. I ran away. That's it."

He shook his head again.

"No you didn't. You didn't run away. You just came back."

This encouraged him enough to lace his fingers into hers, and she smiled at the warmth it provided.

He almost didn't want to ask any more questions, but he had to know something. Anything to say that she was okay.

So he lifted he shirt, barely exposing her smooth, tan stomach. And on the side, there was a purple bruise that didn't blend in with her skin.

He cringed, and she pushed it down, before sitting up again.

"When did it start?"

"Two years ago," she said quietly.

"So why are you coming back now?"

"Every time,"

He strained to hear her voice.

"Every time," she repeated, "I looked at him… every time he picked me up, and every time one of these—"she pointed to the bruise on her waist, "--happened, I saw something else. I thought of something else that made it worthwhile."

He shifted his eyes to hers nervously.

She smiled, almost bitterly before reaching out to touch his cheek.

"It was you," her voice broke.

His stomach flipped over to know that when she was being hurt at her worst, she thought of him.

"Your eyes," she swallowed. "Your hair, your voice."

"Why?" he said painfully, "Why me? Why are you coming back now? After three years, Gabriella. After three years of being treated like that. After three years that I thought you forgot about me. You didn't even bother to call or write or anything. You didn't even tell me. I felt irrevalant, and I felt like you didn't need someone like me in your life."

He didn't care if he sounded desperate. He needed the closure, and it was clawing at him desperately.

She smiled sadly.

"Maybe you'll never know why."

He looked at her, confused, before she sat up and smoothed out her skirt.

The look in her eyes explained enough. A part of him didn't know what it meant; the mystery lingering in the air, but the simple words she uttered was enough to explain what he was wondering.

"Time will explain enough," she said slowly, "and hearts will heal."

What she meant by the last sentence hung heavy in the air.

"I came back for you, even if it took me three years." She said firmly.

That was all that mattered.

**Chapter End Notes:**

**So I might have dragged this out too long, and you guys might be already tired of depressing Troy and Gabriella, and trust me, for a while, I thought I was too. But these words just spilled out of my fingertips, and although I'm not particularly happy with this chapter, I don't hate it either. Happy moments are to ensue soon, and you all will be pleased, trust me.**

**A lot of you might be confused of Troy and Gabriella's state of nature, and I assure you, they are completely platonic. But who knows what the future might hold? I don't know how long my chapters are going to be. I just know that I stop when I know it should, and when I'm exhausted at how much I've written.**

**But if you have questions, don't be afraid to ask. Troy and Gabriella are both here, smiling cheekily at how cute you all are, leaving me reviews. They appreciate it greatly. **

**Also, I'm sorry for the lack of updates in the past few weeks. I had no motivation, and frankly, I didn't get a lot of reviews that sparked that inspiration. **

**If you want me to continue the story, review! **

**xcomfortable**


	4. times

If there was anything that Troy Bolton knew, it was that he hated having dreams. It was a simple reason, and probably a stupid one at that, but he hated the feeling of waking up and not relishing the feeling of knowing what the hell the dream meant.

Mostly, his dreams were nightmares, and he could easily shake off the uneasy feeling of something watching over his shoulder. Other than that, Troy Bolton could always say that he didn't experience much in the dreaming area. He was one of those people who slept like the dead, and woke up with no recollection of what happened the night before. He often sat in bed for a few minutes before realizing that in the process of the whole night, pictures did not invade his mind, but pure darkness had instead.

His hatred for dreams had increased when Gabriella had left the years before. Dreams meant that it was anything then reality. Dreams made you hopeful that it meant something and that it was a sign. Dreams meant getting your hopes up. Dreams meant that when you woke up, you'd get the pit feeling in your stomach that it was just a dream and nothing else.

So that concluded why Troy had always hated dreams. He hated forgetting things, and he hated the washed over feeling it left him.

However, there was one dream that he could never forget.

One that was the pin point of why he hated dreams so much.

Rule number four? Although dreams can crush your view of reality, it can also be your reality.

"_Gabi! Gabriella… please don't leave me here. Please don't."_

_She brushed off motion to reach out to her and ignored his plea._

_The rustling of their clothes was the only thing that could be heard in the empty street as she tried to pick up her pace and lose the guy that she had never cared so much about._

"_Gabriella… why?"_

_The desperation was lining his voice. The pitter patter of the rain could have easily disguised it; but she was much too familiar to the tone. To the emptiness. _

_She heard it in herself much to often._

_Guilt slowly washed over her, but she packed it up in the box that was labeled to be ignored, and she gave him a sad look before whispering._

"_Because you have to ask why, Troy."_

_This alone was enough to cause Troy to stop in his tracks and give everything a second glance; a second doubt. A new meaning to what everything could or couldn't have been._

_And with that, she was gone._

Troy bolted up in his bed. There were too many times that he had had that dream, and frankly, he was tired of it. Rubbing his eyes, he groaned at the cold sweat that had emerged.

It wasn't raining anymore, however. The sun peeped out from his windows and he shielded his eyes in attempt to make it go away.

And he briefly wondered what the dream was implying. What it meant. People said that dreams always meant something, correct? That it was either something you wanted; something that was meant to happen. Either that, or dreams were pushing you to do something that you couldn't.

But his mind really didn't want any of that to happen. Not again. Not after everything that he had risked, everything that he had lost in those few minutes of his life.

It was too suffocating to think of again. So instead, he again got out of bed before preparing for his morning routine.

The apple tasted dry in his mouth as he chewed it thoughtfully. Troy's mind briefly wondered where Gabriella had gone.

After their small confrontation yesterday, the two decided to call it a day and resumed to doing what they always did before she came back. She went into her room and did who knows what, and he had returned to his and just thought. Troy then proceeded to play basketball in the backyard while Gabriella observed closely, and she left again, without saying a word.

Things would never be the same, he knew that.

But he was making damn sure that they would be close, if not better.

He just needed the time. The place. The perfect moment.

And that cliché thought was enough to keep him sane. To keep everything okay. To keep the emotions in check and to make sure that if he was lucky, he might think back on this and say that he was glad that all of this had happened.

The slamming of a screen door interrupted his thoughts. Troy chucked the core of the apple to the tin of the trash can in his kitchen and looked up briefly to see who had entered.

Licking his lips, he took in Gabriella's appearance. She shuffled to the refridgerator before opening and standing there, looking at him.

He raised his eyebrows.

"What are you doing?"

"It's hot," she said slowly, fanning her face.

Troy tried to keep the smile nonevident on his face.

"Plans for today?" he said, jumping up on the kitchen counter.

Gabriella's eyes shifted.

"We could… talk to them." She swallowed, "or, we could talk about us some more."

Troy blinked.

They needed to talk sometime. To assure that things would be normal again. To say that everything would be alright and that they could just… finally catch up on each other and call it a day.

But at the same time, he wanted to push what he didn't know in the back of his mind. He wanted to feel her soft skin beneath his fingertips and just say that they could be best friends and start new.

So for a few seconds, he pushed everything back.

And then he chose the first option.

Gabriella pursed her lips as if she knew. But if she did, she brushed it off and moved forward, keeping her hands busy.

The two had not yet been awkward, but it seemed as if the hot air clung to their bodies and imprisoned their bitter feelings to the back of their throats.

"Talking to them it is," she murmured, before leaving the room silently.

He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding before mentally kicking himself in the stomach.

What the hell was that? They had talked, but at the same time, they hadn't talked. They had said what they needed to, but at the same time, everything was unsaid. He wanted everything to be back to normal. He wanted them to be Troy and Gabriella, not two people who were too scared to be who they were.

In her room, Gabriella was thinking the same thing.

She breathed.

That was the first thing she did as she shut the door behind her, almost ghostly silent.

Her room still smelled faintly like her, a little dust gathering here and there, but it would soon be worn in.

She didn't plan on leaving.

Gabriella padded across her room to get ready. Almost everything had stayed the same, and she was almost certain that it would stay that way from now on.

The reasons she came home were not entirely selfish. Sure, you could have said that she just wanted to see Troy's face again, or you could say that she wanted to get away from the hurt—both physical and mental—but she had better reasons, too. Some that she could do better hiding, and some Troy would know from the blink of an eye.

Troy knew her like he knew the back of his hand.

That scared her.

She was never one to think she was predictable, but she always was around him. She could hold up the perfect figure and smile, create the perfect picture. And yet, he would stand there and frown before asking he what's wrong.

It puzzled Gabriella how he did it—how he could see right through her—and more importantly, it frustrated her that she couldn't do the same.

It was the opposite, in fact. She could never read Troy Bolton, and that had been from the moment they met. His cerulean eyes never gave anything away but a reflection of what she saw in herself, and besides his posture, she could never tell how he truly felt.

Because that was Troy Bolton.

You could never tell how he truly felt.

Gabriella swept up a few items of her clothing before pushing them on. The smell of new clothes from being unworn could be mistaken as her perfume, by now. Wrinkling her nose at the offending stench, she used the body spray that Mrs. Bolton had given her years before and relishing in the familiar smell and comfort that it provided her.

That made her purse her lips in thought.

To be honest, it made her feel like shit. Her best friend needed her the most, and she left him. But she needed him almost as much as he needed her. He just couldn't run away like she did.

The details fogged in her mind as she pushed them back further.

They would talk. Gabriella needed to make sure of it. That way, she could have closure on what happened.

That way, she could know that it was her fault that everything happened.

And as sick as it was, that made her feel good.

She had caused an impact.

A cautious rap came from her door.

"Gabs… it's time to leave now,"

She let her hair out of her ponytail, relinquishing the smell it wafted off and peeked through the door. Opening it a crack more, she slipped out.

He wouldn't want to see it, yet.

She hadn't cleaned anything up since the night she left.

Giving him a tight smile, they walked side by side to the door.

It was the first time in a while they were doing anything together.

Even if that meant facing fears.

"I don't think this is a good idea."

Troy rolled his eyes.

"Gabriella, they're our friends. You know… the people we used to hang out with and have so much fun with? The ones we'd go to the movies with just for shits and giggles? The ones that were there for us through everything?"

"You were there for me through everything," she said quietly. Her voice went back to normal level, "Taylor's gonna hate me."

"She's not going to hate you, Brie. No one could. They don't know what happened."

"And you do?"

Troy looked over at his best friend before blinking.

"Guess I don't."

This caused silence in the car for a moment before Gabriella toyed with the ring on her pointer finger.

"What if they all hate me?"

"If they care enough, they'll forgive you," Troy said tiredly.

"And if they don't?"

"You'll still have me."

Gabriella pondered over the meaning of his words for a second.

"I'm okay with that."

"Just okay?" he teased.

She smiled and closed her eyes as she felt the wind against her face and hair.

For a split second, she remembered why she loved him so much. The feeling was soon replaced with nausea.

"More than okay," she whispered to herself.

The turn in the road caused her to look up from her spot in the passenger seat.

Taylor was gonna hate her.

Not only did Gabriella leave Troy, but she left her friends behind. She had left Taylor and Chad, and you could even say she left Sharpay and Zeke. She had left Jason, and she had left Kelsi.

She couldn't lie and say that she hadn't given them all much thought, because the truth is, she did. She thought about all of them, but she had pushed back thoughts like she always had and moved on.

A decision had never been so regretted.

Troy scratched the back of his head and he watched a reality TV show he had no idea what was called with his best friend, Chad.

The two had decided to give the girls time alone to sort things out.

Things were eerily quiet in the household.

And tense.

He almost wanted to take his jacket and bolt out of the place and pretend nothing in the past three days had happened. But they had, and he couldn't change anything now.

The unsettling feeling in Troy's stomach was the same one that was in Gabriella's.

Gabriella sat uncomfortably on Taylor's soft, white fleece blanket on her bed, while she sat calmly on her computer chair spinning around.

The two stared at each other, none of them breaking the intense gaze.

"So you come back after two years and you don't even say anything?"

The harsh words cut deep into Gabriella's skin, and she inwardly winced.

"You don't understand, Taylor."

"I sure as hell don't! You come waltzing back into Bradentown and just assume that I know what's going on? Gabriella, _you _ran away. We went after you, and all we got was a slap in the face that basically told us to fuck off."

Gabriella's eyes started to water.

"Stop. You don't know what you're saying," she said softly.

"Then make sure I do."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."

"But you told Troy?"

The dark skinned girl raised an eyebrow.

Gabriella wanted to rip her eyes out. The ongoing struggle between choosing Taylor and Troy as a best friend always killed her when she still lived in Bradentown, and nothing had changed. But at the same time, everything had.

With that everything, Gabriella uttered a few words she would probably regret.

"Troy always holds the upper hand with us, Taylor." She spit out bitterly.

The look on her friend's face urged her on.

"And you wanna know why? Because he doesn't give a god damn whether or not I choose between him or you. He just wants to make sure that I'm okay at all times, and that I'm happy. I've tried. I've tried so hard to make sure that you didn't feel left out all the time, but of course it went totally unnoticed. I'm back, Taylor.

A guilty expression washed over Taylor's features.

"And you know what? You don't even appreciate that. You wanna know why I was fucking gone? Because I had an abusive boyfriend who wouldn't let me breathe."

She had calmed down by then. With a final glance at the girl in front of her, Gabriella made a motion to leave the room.

"Wait, Gab…"

She hesitated.

"Why didn't you tell any of us?" she whispered.

"I am now."

Gabriella looked back at her friend, so delicate. She couldn't help but feel like she just smashed a porcelain doll against a brick wall.

Retracing her steps, she sat down silently on the bed waiting for her friend to say something.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said."

"I didn't either," Gabriella said softly.

"Yes, you did. You're right. I was never there for you like Troy was."

"You were there, just not at the same times he was."

"It's the same thing."

Gabriella blinked.

"You hate me, don't you? I…"

She couldn't find the right words to finish.

"I don't hate you, Gabs… you're one of my best friends. I could never hate you. Nothing has changed."

"A lot has, Taylor. I don't even know what's going on anymore. Troy's parents are suddenly disappearing, Chad and Troy barely talk anymore, you and I are fighting, and we've all moved on. You have new friends and a new life. Everybody does."

Everything seemed to sink in like new, and suddenly, Gabriella was on the verge of tears.

"Everything's changed, and I don't feel the same." Her voice cracked.

Taylor seemed to mull over her next words.

"Everything's changed, yes. I have new friends, yes…" she smiled almost sardonically, "but it's almost like fingers. If you cut one off, they all hurt the same."

Taylor got off her desk chair and moved toward her best friend.

"I'm so sorry, Gabriella. You didn't deserve any of this. We should talk more… we'll figure something out. We always do."

She lay her arm behind Gabriella's back and pulled her closer. She could feel the small, frail girl breaking down into her arms as she shushed her and comforted her.

In the other room, Troy was beginning to get restless.

What if Taylor really had hated Gabriella? He hadn't talked to her for months, especially with Gabriella gone. The two had never gotten along, and they avoided each other for all costs.

Taylor was the type of person who liked picking a fight. It didn't matter if she was right or wrong, but she needed to fight. And Troy was the type of person who didn't care about those things. He ignored them like it was his job, and that caused Taylor to be angrier with him. Gabriella was the peacekeeper, along with Chad who had always kept Taylor away from "Troy-distance" and things worked fine that way.

Today, things were different.

The small sound of shuffling coming from behind him made both him and Chad turn around to face two girls.

Both of their eyes were puffy, but the duo gave them a small smile before sinking into the couch besides them.

"I'm done with crying today," Gabriella said.

Troy shot her a look as if to tell her to fill him in on what happened earlier in the day and she gave him a small reassuring smile.

"Yeah, I agree," Chad said. He walked over to her before pulling her close in one of his "Chad-hugs" and patted her on the back. I missed my best friend."

He beamed down at her before picking her up and swinging her around.

"How about we all go to Sharpay's house? Little girl wants to have a welcome back party, and we can't have it without the person we're welcoming."

Gabriella's mouth hung open. She looked over to Troy as he shrugged his shoulders to say he had no idea either.

She shut her eyes tightly before opening them again and seeing everybody looking back at her expectedly.

Here it was to getting things back to normal.

The party was sufficiently awkward to Gabriella, but maybe it was just her, as it seemed like everyone had an immunity to the awkwardness.

She weaved her way through the people smiling and waving at her, trying to process their names quickly enough and remember them. She quickly hugged most of them before waving them off and moving on to the next person.

She was lucky if she remembered their name.

Of course, alcohol had been involved, and while Chad was singing into a fancy lamp shade, and Sharpay was drawling out The Sound of Music, Troy had opted for water instead, keeping a close eye on here at all times, but keeping his distance.

Gabriella respected that and briefly wondered why Chad and Troy had yet to talk much the day, but ignored it otherwise, too busy with her own problems.

The selfish thoughts burned in her mind, and the two decided to leave the party for their own house. The quiet ride home was different, but Gabriella had been too tired to change it.

Her skin burned as she laid down in her bed and counted the minutes as they went by. Unsure of what time is was anymore, she spread her arms and turned her head to the side. It was only two in the morning, and she wasn't sure what was keeping her awake.

A faint murmuring could be heard from the back of the house and she sat up, pushing her hair out of her face, shifting her eyes to the door.

Wondering if it was worth the time, she pushed herself off the warm bed before putting her hair up in a bun and venturing into the hallway downstairs.

In the shadows, she crossed her arms and watched him.

The TV was turned on to a replay of a Lakers game that had gone on the day before, and she could only see his silhouette against the screen. He was standing behind the couch, his hand on it for support, before tilting his water bottle he was holding down his lips.

She could see his face now, illuminated by the screen. It almost shined a pale blue green, and his dark, navy blue shirt outlined the contoures of his body.

Gabriella wondered if she should say anything, but before she could wonder any longer, he turned on the lights.

She blanched.

The lights illuminated the hallway and he turned around curiously as he heard her stumble.

His eyebrows raised and he gave her a small smile as if to ask what she was doing there.

But he didn't say anything, as he calmly closed the cap to his water bottle and slowly turned off the TV.

Troy sat down on the couch facing her and licked his lips, waiting to hear what she had to say.

"What are you doing awake…?" she wondered out loud.

He chuckled softly.

"Funny, I could say the same for you."

Gabriella gave him a small smile as she joined him on the opposite couch, swinging her legs in the lost conversation. The noise of cars passing and distant crickets could be heard outside.

"I really wanted you to answer that, though, " she said quietly.

He smirked.

"And again, I could say the same for you."

She wondered why the change of mood, and where this person had come from. He seemed so much more alert and confident, and so much like the old Troy that she knew instead of the one she had gotten used to in the past few days.

"I could sleep," she admitted, "and honestly, I don't know why."

He gazed at her from beneath his eyelashes and her breath was taken out of her for a few seconds before she blinked. It was gone.

"Why can't you?" she continued.

"Insomnia."

His charming demeanor faded.

"Insomnia?"

The questioning look on her face looked pained.

"I don't know. I think too much. These past few days I've been getting sleep, but it's back. To be honest, it's tiring. It's… really tiring. But I'm okay."

"You are, or you will be?"

"I will be."

He gave her a tight lipped smile and stood up before shuffling over to a room she wasn't even sure was anymore.

Bringing her legs up to her chin, Gabriella contemplated his words. How much more had changed about Troy that she didn't know? There was a lot he didn't know, but for a second, it was almost like she needed to find out what had kept him sane while she was gone. His drive and what changed everything so much.

In his studio, Troy leaned back against the door before shutting his eyes briefly.

Knowing she was going to come back someday was his drive; when she left, that's when everything changed.

**Chapter End Notes:**

**Too much to fit in this chapter. Holy. While you're all processing this….**

**You guys probably hate me because I take so long to update. And I am SO sorry for that. I have California State Tests, and honestly, everything has been just… horrible. Tests, tests, tests. For those of you who don't know, I'm only thirteen. And I'm entering high school next year, and I'm just nervous about passing these things and moving on.**

**I'm sorry for the lack of updates, but it's going to have to do for right now. Not only that, but I've been in a weird funk lately that has to do with my friends. **

**But yesterday, I uploaded a one-shot that I wrote a while ago, and I hope you guys like it! I think it's cute, but then again… I don't know. **

**Also: I know that there are better writers then me on this site. I know that I'm not the most talented person, but I'm trying. This is my first real story that I feel a connection to, and you guys are the people who are watching me develop. So thank you to those who are patient with me. I really appreciate it, more then you guys know.**

**Otherwise, I hope you guys like the chapter**

**Review, review, review!**

**xcomfortable **


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